ADHD what's next?

I'm blogging because I know I really should be doing something else. I've learned so much about myself lately. And yet my knee jerk reaction to deny it (ADHD) prohibits me from being able to doing anything about it.

The more I think, rewind my thinking, I can't help but recall situations present, past, that confirm my diagnosis of ADHD. Similar to finding out your spouse has been in a relationship with another person for extended time. You begin to think back, recall, the times they worked late, had to cancel at last minute, etc. Ah, it all makes sense now. I'm not crazy.
Rumor has it that ADDs are intuitive.

So the question is what do you do once you find out??? You take action of course. To do nothing is also an action. I myself vacillate between acceptance and it's possible, but I can manage on my own. Then when the pain is great enough I come back to review some more. Research, gather data, new gadget, etc.

The truth is it's one uncovering after another, then another, on, and on, the damn onion is DONE. Eventually there's a pulp right?

I'm a little angry I know, maybe more than a little. I don't write so I'm doing this blog then sending to cypher space, maybe it'll help. They say it does.

I've spent the better part of my adult life working on the inner child, no-sugar, less sugar, tea, etc.
I'm a recently diagnosed ADHDer who's also a recovering Alcoholic (16 yrs) clean & sober, recovering bulimic, grateful member of Al-Anon.

Basically when I get overwhelmed with trying to manage my own f***ed up life I then take inventory of my husbands. And write to do lists for him. After yrs of working a strong AA 12 step program and raging with anger, it was suggested to me to try Al-Anon. There I learned how to take my own inventory, say no, keep to my side of the street, not involve myself in other peoples Drama, plenty to do with my own life. If you want to know immediately if your on anothers territory, crossing boandaries, etc. then inventory your food. Grey sheet abstinance will keep you in check moment by moment, no wiggle room there.

Food the last Rock to hide behind....when I choose to inventory my food (write down, call in, commit) I easily can see people, places, situations, that rock my boat.

I ask myself this question "Do I want to be Happy or right"? Usually it's Happy. There's been times with my husband that I say F**ck-it, let's GOOGLE this and find out who's right. Put your money on the table.

However I've noticed that it takes a constant magnifier not to allow others to dump their stuff on you. My husband is a Pro at doing this. I catch myself hours latter asking how the hell did I end up with this on my List? It's ever so subtle.

**** The sweet, subtle, manipulator. Cute, clumsy, slow as molasses. When I watch my husband trying to do almost anything, same feeling as when I'm late for a speaking engagement & my 5 yr old insist on tying his own shoes. Oh, the agony!!

I know it's Divine intervention I married my husband. I could never live with another me. Yet I do wonder how far we'd prosper with 2 at high speed. But, I'm old enough to know that usually doesn't work. Right?

Anyone will tell you my husband is the nurturer in our family. I still think he relates best with our 5, 7 yr old because he's emotionally as evolved. When he buys the kids new toys I can't help wonder who it's really for. Or when he insists the kids have to see a movie on the big screen ($40. vs. $2.00 rental). I feel I've 3 kids sometimes.

My original point is this....okay so I've ADHD as I read other blogs I know I'm not alone. Others have difficulty with information stuck in the head, organization, time management, blurting things out loud, all or nothing, indecision, prioritising, follow-thru, some days I can leap from tall buildings, then others I want to hide below one, I work best with my pets close bye.

And all this time I just thought I was one of those "Constitutionally in capable of being honest with themselves" mentioned in How it works, (AA's Big Book).

Someone (an old timer)recently said to me "Keep bringing all your personalities to the meetings and it'll get better". I was appalled at first, then wondered how he knew.

"We'll Love you, Until you can Love yourself" has always been my saving Grace.